The Glad-Spot 4.0! Sexy Edition!

    A new year. A new decade. A new G-spot. Well, the same one… Just different angle! Hope it feels as good, actually I don’t. It feels the same to me. I’m excited for 2011. Hopefully since it’s the year ‘11, that’s how many chicks I do! That’d be sweet.  Every forth girl comes with a new venereal disease! Yay! Its like the toy in a Happy Meal! On second thought, that may not be the best idea.
    The idea of being a ladies man sounds fun, but it seems to have its major disadvantages too. Besides the whole crotch-rot issue. I have enough of a hard time dealing with a single girl in a casual relationship. I couldn’t imagine what the guys who date multiple girls must go through. The emotional distress and manipulation I receive in casual dating is enough, I cant handle it from multiple sources! My head and balls hurt just thinking about it.
    Women are hard to understand. They try to say guys are to, but I don’t believe that. We only want three things: Food, sex, and entertainment. All of which can be put together into one thing! A blowjob while eating a sandwich and watching Star Wars (or Lord of the Rings, depending on what kind of nerd you are). And the whole ‘entertainment’ factor can be just about anything. Lately I have been obsessed with a bouncy ball… a freakin BOUNCY BALL!!! What am I? 7? Seriously, though, I don’t know if I have ever had this much fun with anything in my life. Well, except boobs. But even those have such a horrible drawback… its called a mouth! I’m trying to play with fun-bags and it sound like Charlie Browns teacher yappin away! “Shut up and let me jiggle them! Jeez!”
    I think about the idea of dating multiple girls and the idea of it is… Awesome! I’m the type of guy who doesn’t have a set “type”. Big, tall, short, small. Blonde, brunette, crew cut, I don’t care. Curvy, not. I love ‘em all. With that in mind the thought of spending a nice day at the zoo with a tall, skinny blonde followed by a nice Italian dinner is cool. Especially if the next day to go to a museum with a curvy brunette with a killer attitude with Mexican food after! But the reality is A) Your going to spend at least $300 and I’m cheap! And B) They are going to be nagging you both days. And with one girl nagging you’ll only hear that shit once, if your lucky. But With 2 you will hear all that crap 2-6 times depending on how dumb you are. And we all know how dumb I am. I just cant handle that much abuse!
    In case you haven’t noticed, I’m single. Like, HELLA SINGLE, Yo’s. And with that comes an amazing freedom. What kind of freedom, you ask it your most stupid sounding voice? I, as a single Man, have the choice to go drinking with the boys. And If I don’t want to even come home the next day, I DON’T HAVE TO! Say, for example, I wake up at 11:30 on my day off and want to start beer-bonging beers… I can! And the only thing I have to deal with is my room-mate saying, “Well, at least it wasn’t 9:30. Please… Don’t pee in my room again!” That’s freedom, Bitches. Oh, and I can say bitches. When I was “locked-down” that was a no-no word. Bitches…
    I guess that’s the decision I have to make. Do I date girls slowly whittling away the options down till I find that “keeper” that will end up cheating on me 4 years later with her Ex or do I enjoy the rest of my Life? I don’t know. It is so tough.  I see my options in the face of all older Men. Those guys, Married 20 years, who look so happy when they’re with their spouses and as soon as she leaves the room he looks tired and worn out. Or I look at those guys who have almost have always been single who when you see them alone look happy and relaxed, not a care in the world. But when they think nobody is looking end up just looking sad and lonely. By the way, both these guys are only 45, but one looks 32 and the other looks 60. Can you guess which is which? I cant make this decision. Maybe we should vote. E-mail me your vote and I’ll announce the winner next week, thegladspot@gmail.com. Get your votes in!